Tuesday, April 5, 2011

C restaurant

I have a special treat for you today. Not a recipe, but A REVIEW.
An extra SPECIAL review, as it was written by my well chiseled, witty and handsome (his words not mine) brother.

Last week we went to C restaurant, mainly to take steve up high to see the city on his last weekend in perth. 11 of us were there, my family, and my aunt/uncle and cousins. For those of you who dont know, C restaurant is the revolving restaurant 33 stories high in the centre of perth.

the other well chiseled handsome man in my life, and his dinner (which paul describes below)

I think paul (the well chiseled handsome one) does an excellent job...

This, is my amazing review of C.

I had high expectations for C (pun intended. Its 33 floors up. Side note- IT REVOLVES!). However, these expectations were somewhat surprised, namely by the service. In what scientists are calling "quite slow" it took about 1/2 an hour for wine to get to the table. Now I was aware that the room CIRCULATED, but I doubt the waiters really found it so disorientating it took 1/2 an hour to find a table of 11. And like any teenage girl, middle aged customers (namely my parents) are much easier to please once they have had a glass or two. Or in the case of a teenage girl, 1/3 cask. So that may have lead to the disappointment they felt, which ended with me writing this review.

At $70 a head, I am not going to lie, a broader menu could be expected. The selection was either steak, chicken, fish or gnocchi, which I am pretty sure did not cater for any vegetarian needs. Though I didn't actually check, as I originally had no intention of writing this review, or eating the gnocchi, which may have been vegetarian.

Due to my continuously starved, upper middle-class upbringing I picked the menu item which one would assume would be the largest portion size. This was the sirloin steak, served with mushroom deluxe, and "Parsley Mash". Feeling like I had nothing but pure testosterone and boredom pulsing through my veins, I ordered the steak medium rare, so as to really bring out my blood thirst, without actually have copious amounts of blood dribbling down my chin, onto my new shirt and tie. 

However, it would appear that both the waiter and chef over indulged my thirst for semi-cooked cow blood, as the steak was cool in the middle. Which is what rare is (Official studies indicate that "Medium Rare" and "Rare" are not the same thing). Also my drink order was originally not what I asked for. (Whiskey and Soda. Get whiskey, and ice and soda. You get money, I get drink, everyone gets what they want.)

However, the Ethiopian like state of my hunger forgave the bleeding mass of steak. It did not however forgive the portion size. Though the steak appeared to be made of three whole cows, sowed together with raw blood, the distinctly small amount of potato made me feel like I was in Ireland during 1845 (The Great Potato Blight in Ireland for those uneducated in tumor based affairs).

Furthermore, the lack of moisture in the potato made seemed to top off the already Ethiopian like hungry. The mushroom deluxe was de-wait-for-it-licious, though, relative to the amount of bovine, was a paltry sum. 

As for the sauce that accompanied the steak, it was reminiscent of Vegemite. Which is disappointing on bread, let alone sirloin steak. Though the chef did manage to water it down to a less paste-like substance, without losing any of its huge levels of salt. So kudos to him. Or her. I'm not workplace prejudiced.

The dessert (Chocolate Mousse) was not particularly special. At all. No flamboyant additives like the sap from an endangered vanilla plant that only "cries" once a millenia IF the moon is both directly overhead, and bleeding moon tears of joy. I am almost certain that it was supermarket chocolate and cream. Maybe some vanilla essence. Maybe. 

Overall, at $70 dollars, not including drinks, I wouldn't say it is not worth it, as it is marketed as something special. Which besides the ROTATION of the room, it isn't. The only reason you would come here is to mildly disappoint someone. And if you did want to do that, I would just take them to KFC and make them try the new "Double Down" Burger. If they do somehow manage to survive the massive amounts of cholesterol, you can be happy knowing that instead they will be spending the next three days running back and forth 
between the toilet.

note: apparently the best way to enjoy this restaurant is to forgo dinner, buy a drink and make i last a LONG time.


  1. Paul is not only well chiseled, and very handsome, but also a super entertaining and talented restaurant reviewer. I think he should get a permanent segment on your blog Alex.

  2. He IS a very talented and humorous writer - i AGREE! altho. keeping things special by keeping things rare..

  3. hahahahaha paul you are hilarious!
    and that restaurant really was terrible! i agree with alex.. maybe good for a sunset drink. but that is all..